i dont know why put once you just get in the right metallity, someone has to mess with your head. i dont know weither they know exactly when to do it, or its just good timing. weither he knows im just a sucker for him, and that somehow he'll always get me. that i can't be mean to him, that he knows i still love him no matter what, that id poor my heart out to him just so thatd he paid an ounce of attention to me, for atleast a couple hours. he knows that he wil get what he wants when it comes to me. he knows i wont hurt him, but that he will just crush me an in instant for someone better then me. i know i could fight this, but i cant. he means to much to me, but i know he shouldnt. then theres this other person, that makes me smile. he makes me feel so good about myself, that im worthy of something better. that i can stand up to him, and get rid of him, even though i secretly cant. that i will find someone so much better, that actually appreciates me. he tells me he cares about me. he tells me im beautiful, i tell him hes crazy. Then theres myself. the person i live with everyday. i smile through the pain and the ups and downs. ill just be my old crazy self through it all. i wont let on, dont worry about it, its nothing unusual.. besides all the changes and the confusion. the changes between shy and crazy not caring. the crazy i dont care mood, but then he comes and ruins this mood. i shouldnt let him ruin it. i wont let him ruin it anymore..
cause, geuss what..
i care.. ( Collapse )
make an annonymous comment about what you think of me. then do the same in your journal.
i just wrote a huge thing,
and realized no ones going to care.
so i deleted it.
all i gotta say is that things are ......
i want hundreds of thousands of anonymous things to read forever. tell me something beautiful, tell me something free. really it could be awful, i just want to read it all